Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends
- Downloads：3721
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-08-27 06:21:44
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Marisa G. Franco
- ISBN：B09PZV66TJ
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Kirsten
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https://www。theatlantic。com/family/ar。。。 https://www。theatlantic。com/family/ar。。。 。。。more
Lyndsi
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I went into Platonic: The Surprising New Science of Making – and keeping – Friends as an Adult excited to learn more about friendship。 I wasn’t disappointed。 Since my boys are in high school/college， I no longer have the benefit of proximity/exposure （baseball team moms， school functions， etc） to help with friendships。 And those friendships that began through that proximity/exposure， now need intention to be maintained and flourish。 The information provided in this book gave me information and s I went into Platonic: The Surprising New Science of Making – and keeping – Friends as an Adult excited to learn more about friendship。 I wasn’t disappointed。 Since my boys are in high school/college， I no longer have the benefit of proximity/exposure （baseball team moms， school functions， etc） to help with friendships。 And those friendships that began through that proximity/exposure， now need intention to be maintained and flourish。 The information provided in this book gave me information and steps to build up current friendships and ways to start new ones。I enjoyed the blend of anecdote and science， making it feel more like a story than a textbook。Thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Group for the eARC。 see full review here: https://lyndsireads。com/platonic/ 。。。more
Emily Tamkin
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Simply a wonderfully written， engaging， deeply useful book。
Anna Goldfarb
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Expect a lot of light bulb moments when you read this breezy yet thorough guide to making and keeping your favorite friendships afloat。 The author， a psychologist and friendship expert， gives thoughtful， nuanced advice for common hurdles most people face in their adult friendships。 Taking initiative， being vulnerable， being authentic， navigating conflicts， being affectionate –– this book will walk you through how to do it all。 She brings concepts to life with both real-life examples and cutting- Expect a lot of light bulb moments when you read this breezy yet thorough guide to making and keeping your favorite friendships afloat。 The author， a psychologist and friendship expert， gives thoughtful， nuanced advice for common hurdles most people face in their adult friendships。 Taking initiative， being vulnerable， being authentic， navigating conflicts， being affectionate –– this book will walk you through how to do it all。 She brings concepts to life with both real-life examples and cutting-edge research。 Each chapter ends with key takeaways so it's easier to remember the nuggets of wisdom she shares。 After reading the book （which is funnier than you'd think！）， you'll not only know feel a greater understanding of how friendships operate but also how you can make your friendships run smoother for you。 Five stars！ 。。。more
Danni Jackson
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Here's the thing: I'm not surprised by the amount of research in this book-- Dr。 Franco is incredibly knowledgeable。 I'm not surprised by the beautiful storytelling-- Dr。 Franco is a talented writer。 What I AM surprised by is the ways in which parts of this book stirred me spiritually。 The chapter about generosity nearly moved me to tears。 Dr。 Franco presented the research around how important genuine generosity is， but then she carefully illustrated the concept in a way I've never heard of befo Here's the thing: I'm not surprised by the amount of research in this book-- Dr。 Franco is incredibly knowledgeable。 I'm not surprised by the beautiful storytelling-- Dr。 Franco is a talented writer。 What I AM surprised by is the ways in which parts of this book stirred me spiritually。 The chapter about generosity nearly moved me to tears。 Dr。 Franco presented the research around how important genuine generosity is， but then she carefully illustrated the concept in a way I've never heard of before。 I had to pause several times while reading it to let everything digest， and I began thinking about all of my relationships （marriage included！）。 Being more generous may be the very act that takes these relationships to the next level-- something I don't think I would have recognized before。 This book should be required reading in schools， in my opinion， because I think it holds the answers to how we ALL can experience the kind of connection and belonging we've been craving for so long。 Bravo。 。。。more
Leigh Kramer
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4。5 stars。 An instructive look at friendship through the lens of attachment theory。 The author， a psychologist， makes a strong case for why we need to prioritize friendship more， as well as how these relationships take work just like any other—and they’re worth working on。 It’s an engaging read， with a blend of research， anecdotes from her own life， and practical tips。 As a single woman， I’m already a believer in the power of friendship and I’m always interested in deepening those relationships。 4。5 stars。 An instructive look at friendship through the lens of attachment theory。 The author， a psychologist， makes a strong case for why we need to prioritize friendship more， as well as how these relationships take work just like any other—and they’re worth working on。 It’s an engaging read， with a blend of research， anecdotes from her own life， and practical tips。 As a single woman， I’m already a believer in the power of friendship and I’m always interested in deepening those relationships。 This provides a good gut check about the kind of friends we are and potential areas of improvement。This wasn’t necessarily new information but it was helpful to have it packaged together in one place。 It has the potential to really revolutionize friendships for people who haven’t put the same time and energy in as their romantic or familial relationships。 I particularly appreciated the chapter on managing conflict and the helpful scripts provided throughout。 I will be recommending it a lot， I can tell。The Author’s Note acknowledges the limitations of this book。 Much of the research on friendship is older， conducted in the US， and based on small samples of predominantly white cishet college students。 I hope the field is starting to diversify because that’s a pretty biased small sample。 The author is a Person of Color and she shares some of her experiences， particularly when addressing interracial friendships。 This was a welcome addition。 It would have been nice to have chapters dedicated to exploring LGBTQ friendships and found families （going beyond the acknowledgment of homophobia and its impact on friendship） and different cultural expressions of friendship to counter the lack of research。A few minor quibbles:1。 Franco uses Hazan and Shaver's Three-Category Relationship Model for attachment theory。 To each their own。 I prefer Bartholomew and Horowitz's Four-Category Model of Adult Attachment， which introduced fearful-avoidant attachment。 If the descriptions in this book don’t fully resonate with you， it might be worth looking into fearful-avoidant。2。 While the author asserts the internet can have a detrimental effect on friendship， it can also have a profoundly positive impact that leads to real life friendship。 That’s certainly been true for me—at this point in my life， the majority of my closest friends are people I first connected with online。 Some of them live locally; for those out of state， we regularly travel to visit each other。 It makes sense since we’re often bonding over common interests。 Internet friendship can also be a boon for the disabled community or those who are isolated。 The lack of acknowledgment of these positives was puzzling。3。 I didn’t 100% agree with the examination of new age generosity and individualistic boundaries vs。 communal boundaries。 It felt based on stereotypes， as well as a deliberate misunderstanding of the importance of healthy boundaries， especially when it comes to emotional labor。 Content notes: （most of these are brief examples from different people interviewed， as well as the author’s own experiences） child physical and emotional abuse， child neglect， death of loved ones （including dementia）， sick relatives （including cancer）， medical issues， Munchausen’s Syndrome （view spoiler）[not acknowledged as such but person lied about having celiac disease due to parental anxiety which manifested in fruitless， unneeded trips to the doctor so she gave herself a diagnosis so the doctor visits would stop and then kept the lie going for years （hide spoiler）]， depression， anxiety， suicidal ideation， psychotic episode， mental hospital stay， self-harm， homophobia， concern of forced outing and transphobia， racism， racial violence， ableism， disordered eating， fatphobia， bullying， toxic masculinity， parental addiction， alcoholism， contemplating pregnancy， COVID-19， witnessed family violence， incarceration， infidelity， divorce， toxic relationships， purity culture， animal research， alcohol， drug references， gendered pejoratives， gender essentialist language， mention of parent having stillborn baby （past）， mention of Pulse Night Club shooting， reference to enslavementDisclosure: I received a free advanced copy from G。P。 Putnam’s Sons in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Mikelann Scerbo
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